How to tell he’s cheating December 30, 2008

1. He’s superprotective of his gadgets. “The main way that trysts are found out is through the discovery of incriminating e-mails, IM chats, cell phone texts or bills,” says Belisa Vranich, PsyD, a clinical psychologist in New York City. So if he’s being unfaithful, he may guard his gadgets or act really defensive when you innocently touch his phone or computer. It should be a giant red flag if he readily gave you passwords in the past, and now he’s more evasive.

2. He steps up the grooming. “This is so obvious, but it’s a sign many women miss: If your man starts grooming down there without you requesting it, that could be an indication that he’s spending more time naked,” says Vranich. You can actually thank porn for this tipoff. Guys today are used to viewing manscaped dudes onscreen, so if he has another chick to impress with his sexual prowess, he may emulate those ultra-trimmed guys. Another clue: He’s spending more time at the gym. 

3. He smells different. “When he comes home, if he doesn’t smell the same as he did in the morning, and it isn’t the scent of soap in the gym or at your home, it may be because he’s showered at her place,” offers Vranich. So pay attention, because in this case, that old saying “the nose knows” might very well be true.

4. Nothing fazes him anymore. “If he was short-tempered before, a combination of added sex and attention could be making him way more relaxed, even downright giddy,” Vranich says. Adds Mira Kirshenbaum, author of When Good People Have Affairs: Inside the Hearts and Minds of People in Two Relationships: “If your guy is suddenly going around all happy and whistling, then you need to find out why.” 

5. He becomes suspicious of you. “If he’s normally a mellow type, all of a sudden he may want to know where you are all the time and with whom,” says Vranich. “It’s the result of him realizing that if he’s cheating and it’s not that hard, you might also be getting away with it.” Also, beware of extremely detailed responses to even your most innocent “How was work today?” queries. He may be preparing epic answers because he’s terrified of getting caught.

One caveat: If your sex life hasn’t fallen off, that’s no guarantee that he’s faithful. “It’s a serious mistake to think that affairs are necessarily sexual. He may just be unhappy in other parts of the relationship,” says Kirshenbaum. In fact, an illicit relationship could even stoke his lust for you.

Ways to ask a guy out December 30, 2008

Passively waiting for a hottie to make a move is simply not acceptable behavior for a fearless Cosmo chick like yourself. Sure, it can be a little intimidating to approach a dude, but it puts you in control of your dating destiny, and besides — guys really like it. “Men find it refreshing when a female asks them out,” Says Rhonda Findling, psychotherapist and author of The Dating Cure. “Beyond that, it’s empowering for the woman.” Some tips for taking this bold step. 

Buy Him a Drink
If a guy catches your eye while you’re out with friends, send over a beer. Since it forces him to make the next move and say thank you, it’s a stealth way of letting him know you’re interested.

Suggest a Super Guy-Friendly Outing
Try to gauge what the guy you’ve set your sights on is into. Here’s how: As you’re chatting him up, ask him what he did over the weekend. Then, casually suggest something similar — whether it be going out for wings or to the batting cages — for the following Friday.

Invite Him on a Group Date
If you can’t quite bring yourself to suggest solo time together, try inviting him out with a bunch of your friends which will make you feel more at ease. One caveat: Avoid having your Giselle look-a-like pal tag along — you want to make sure his eyes stay glued to you.

If You Lose Your Nerve…
Really can’t bring yourself to invite a dude out? Then give him the green light to ask you. After flirting for a bit say something like, “Have you heard about this new movie? I’ve been dying to see it.” It will give him the perfect opportunity to suggest you see it together — and because you’ve hinted at what you want to do, it takes some of the planning pressure off him. Perfect!

Signs you should dump him by New year’s December 28, 2008

1. When you ask to speak to him about moving in, he schedules the talk for June.

2. Each time after sex, he grabs a private notebook from his bag and scribbles something in it, giggling.

3. His friends call him by the nickname of Cheaty McGee.

4. He loves to touch you and kiss you and will do so just as soon as he powers up and finishes killing these level-four zombies. Die, video zombies, die!

5. His ring tone is “Baby Got Back.”

6. The guy’s elaborate excuse for not spending the holidays together includes training for an Ironman competition.

7. Mr. Reality still entertains the idea that he could be a “stripper choreographer.”

8. He’s already written a scathing tell-all memoir of your relationship — and you’ve only been dating for two months.

9. He calls your mom “Mrs. Robinson” and stares at her way too intensely.

10. The big spender usually splurges and buys you awesome gifts, so it’d be a real shame to dump him before Christmas

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/relationships/10-Signs-You-Should-Dump-Him-by-New-Years

Nostalgia December 24, 2008

I’m sitting here, going through my folders full of pictures. Beautiful memories! I wish I could go back one year. 

My eyes are filled with tears looking at these pictures. Each one of them represents a moment that I will forever cherish.

The pictures bring back those moments when we were one big happy family, having fun, enjoying each other, living for the moment. Now we are one broken, dysfunctional family. It is sad how we grew apart from each other. So much happened this past year. So much I would give anything o could to erase. My dear home that used to be the spot, doesn’t even feel like home anymore. I lost a brother (not literally), lost a sister. All those dear friends I used to have so much fun with, I barely see or hear from now. Everybody is busy living their lives. Some are too selfish to care about others.

We all went our separate ways. We all are living our lives. It probably won’t ever be the same anymore, but in my heart these memories will live forever.

These pictures will always be a symbol of the unforgettable we shared.

Holidays December 17, 2008

 

Happy holidays

Here we go again, the end of the year. I could not be more excited. The holiday season is my favorite of them all. No matter how down I feel, no matter how unhappy I am, this season always brings some peace and comfort to me. The Christmas songs, the decorations on the streets(although I wish there was more), decorating my house and getting gifts is just so exciting to me. Seeing it all makes me smile, it makes me happy.  

Families get together, and everybody forget about the misunderstandings, the fights. At least for a few days, everything gets normal.

Is there a better season to bring everybody together? I don’t think so.

Happy holidays to all. May God bless you!!!

 

Merry Christmas

 

Finals December 17, 2008

One more day, 2 more to go. I feel so tired. I have not been sleeping quite well this past week. Finals can be tough on me. I never feel ready. Worse I never feel like I did well until I get the results. I can’t wait for this to be done. Then I can sit back, relax, and enjoy the holidays (my favorite season of the year) in peace.

I can’t wait. I’m already planning my menu. I see all the beautiful things I want to do already. I am so excited.

Okay, I’m going back to my book…

Let’s get it over with December 15, 2008

Here it is 1:00 am, I’m wrapping up to go to bed. One paper out of the way, one more to go, 4 finals, 4 more days. I can’t wait for it to be done. 2 1/2 weeks off, that’s all I get, wish it was more. I have no choice though.

Then in less than a month I get in the plane to Switzerland. I plan to make this trip a lifetime experience. It is school related, I earn myself 3 credits for that. I have never been somewhere that cold before, hope I survive.

Good night…

Daddy’s lil girl December 14, 2008

I am so excited. In 11 hours, I’m getting in my car, destination airport to pick up my dad. I can’t wait to see him. I believe it’s been 9 months since he left. He usually comes by 3- 5 times  a years. Not this year though, it’s been complicated. He’s not staying long, but I plan to enjoy every second with him.

He loves to eat. He loves to try new food. I pulled out my recipe box. I already started my prep for dinner later. My chicken is marinating, my potatoes are peeled. The wine is waiting to be poured. Everything else can wait.

I’m so glad…

New beginnings December 12, 2008

Today is my last day of class. Next week is final week. I am excited and stressed at the same time. Excited because I’m finally getting a break, and I won’t have to think school for at least 2 weeks. Stressed because finals are usually nerve-racking to me. No matter how much I study, I never feel ready, I always get nervous. Hopefully I survive.

Anyways, the other day, I was having a little bit of a breakdown. I was fighting with my beau for some stupid reason. I spent a good part of the day without hearing from him. I did not try to contact either. As I said before, whenever we’re fighting, I’m always the one to reach out first. I feel like if he loves me, if he cares about me the way he says he does; he should swallow his pride from time to time, and make the first move too.

Well he called in the afternoon. I was still mad. I still thought of him as a jerk; therefore, I wasn’t too nice on the phone. He didn’t feel comfortable, so he said he would call later. Few minutes after he started texting (now there are certain situations when I hate text messaging, fighting with him would be one of them), so I sent him away, and told him he could call me later if he still wanted to bitch about stuff. He wasn’t happy about, but he had no choice.

He called back later, we fought some more, then we talked like two human beings. He told me how much he loved me, and did not see his life without me. Now I know this could all be BS, but I’ve always been by his side no matter what, and he’s always done the same for me too. Having someone there for him is very important to him. He never shared such closeness with his exes. I think this is something special between two people, and it is not easy to find. I guess this is one of the reasons why we still can’t leave each other no matter what happens.

At the end of the night, he pissed me off again, and I decided to end it once and for all. I did not want to deal with the crap. Something I’ve been asking for, for 8 months, I still could not get it. I think he realized I was serious this time. He promised it was the end of it. I decided to take his word for it. I know one thing, if ever I find out it’s a lie, I will not look back. I won’t even give myself the time to think of anything special that we have together. I will be out for good.

We spent the afternoon together yesterday, it was very nice. He helped me with my homework (I really appreciated that). Tonight we are going  out on a date. I am excited, it’s been a while.

Fun times finally…

Love hurts December 10, 2008

So I’m having a bad day. My BF and I are fighting. I have not heard from him since the last enraged goodbye I said last night. I called him a jerk. That’s what I was feeling at the time, I still am.

Sometimes I feel like we are living a lie, guess this is the end of it.

The stupid fight was about a call that I received from a guy that I have history with and he doesn’t like. I could care less about the guy. He is being used anyway for my little revenge session. My boyfriend doesn’t know that, and I don’t plan on telling him either. He wanted to know the reason why the guy was calling me. We did not have a conversation, how should I know? He wanted me to call him back and ask him. I refused, I was not about to satisfy his ego. He went through my phone, heard a voicemail the guy left me a few weeks ago stating that he wanted to ask me a question. Of course he wanted to know what the  question was.

I didn’t feel like I had to tell him, not that I cared. The thing is, when he’s in such situation, and I ask questions about what so and so wanted or why so and so is always calling, he says that I am insecure, I’m acting crazy, I can’t be investigating him 24/7. I had access to his email, his phone, etc… He changed all the passwords. That’s his personal stuff, I can’t be looking at them. Okay, no choice, I let him do what he wanted. In the meantime my personal stuff is open. He says he doesn’t check, I don’t believe him; I don’t care. I have nothing to hide.

He wants me to trust his word. I’ve been trying to. I’ll admit sometimes I go crazy, but I’ve been trying to control myself lately. I don’t question much anymore. I don’t go looking for clues anymore. I just take it however it is. This is the effort that I’ve been putting in the relationship. It started getting better until last night.

I feel like he’s been expecting me to do everything, and him do nothing to better the relationship. Again I could be wrong. I put my self 100% into this relationship. I knew I wanted him, and I went for him. Now it feels like I made the wrong choice, and that it may be time for me to move on.

I just wish I wasn’t so weak, I could just get up and go and not look back. I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t know what to think or how to act. I don’t even know what’s right or wrong to do now. All I know is I don’t want to be the first to call, cause it’s always the case.

I would love to be stronger.