He’s just not into you January 5, 2009

1. Keeping you at a distance is one important sign that shows that he is not into you. Phone calls go unanswered, he does not call back until a day, or two later or hardly shows any sign of physical interaction. Flirting or conversation ends quickly on his part when you two are together, can reveal that the spark is not there.

2. Make excuses every time you want to hang out. Staying occupied with other ‘important’ matters and making you last on his list is another way of brushing you off. In addition, a date cancelled at the last minute is not a good sign of someone that enjoys your company.

3. Bring his friends along the majority of the time when you want one-on-one time with him is another way of telling he really does not want to get to know you at a certain level. This is true when dates is centered around what he and his friends enjoy doing the most and just tagging you along to different places.

4. Less eye contact with you while talking. Guys who are smitten by a girl absolutely love to look a girl in the eyes as it had his way of saying that he really likes her. However if his eyes shifts everywhere around and hardly on you, you are not getting his full attention. Gestures say everything about a person and if you are getting a negative reaction, his interests in you is hardly there.

5. Talks about other women a lot whenever he is around you. This can be painful to hear especially when you are attracted to a guy and all he talks about is other females, how attractive they are or if he has a crush on one. While it may seem perfectly normal to have crushes and find another person good-looking, it can be a blow to the heart if he never compliments you or says the same things as he does about other women.

5 times not to text him January 4, 2009

There are several instances where texting can torpedo a relationship before it’s barely gotten off the ground:

1. After your first few dates. It may be tempting to contact a guy after an amazing date, but resist the urge. “Reaching out lessens the thrill of the chase for him,” says psychologist Diana Kirschner, PhD, author of the upcoming book Love in 90 Days.

2. When you’re drunk. Since phones don’t come with Breathalyzers, it’s up to you to stop yourself from sending a tipsy message — especially one that suggests you two meet up ASAP. “Being too available lets a guy know he has all the leverage,” Krieger says.

3. When you’re angry. It’s annoying when a guy flakes, but sending a “Why haven’t you called me?!” inquiry makes you look massively insecure. Avoid angry texts once you’re in a relationship too. “When it’s in writing, you can’t easily take it back,” Kirschner says. It’s even smart to ban bitchy humor, which can sound meaner than it is.

4. When you’re trying to be funny. ”When relayed nonverbally, sarcasm and joking can come off as aggressive,” according to Kirschner. A dude could read a message like “OMG, you were out of control last night” literally, which makes you sound pissed when you were actually just fondly remembering his funny behavior.

5. When you’ve already texted him that day. Once you’re in an ongoing relationship, you may be tempted to rely on texting as a regular form of communication, and there’s nothing wrong with staying in touch that way sometimes. But electronic communication discourages phone conversations and one-on-one time. Also, guys like brief updates, not a blow-by-blow of your life.
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/relationships/relationships-and-texting-2

Ways to ask a guy out December 30, 2008

Passively waiting for a hottie to make a move is simply not acceptable behavior for a fearless Cosmo chick like yourself. Sure, it can be a little intimidating to approach a dude, but it puts you in control of your dating destiny, and besides — guys really like it. “Men find it refreshing when a female asks them out,” Says Rhonda Findling, psychotherapist and author of The Dating Cure. “Beyond that, it’s empowering for the woman.” Some tips for taking this bold step. 

Buy Him a Drink
If a guy catches your eye while you’re out with friends, send over a beer. Since it forces him to make the next move and say thank you, it’s a stealth way of letting him know you’re interested.

Suggest a Super Guy-Friendly Outing
Try to gauge what the guy you’ve set your sights on is into. Here’s how: As you’re chatting him up, ask him what he did over the weekend. Then, casually suggest something similar — whether it be going out for wings or to the batting cages — for the following Friday.

Invite Him on a Group Date
If you can’t quite bring yourself to suggest solo time together, try inviting him out with a bunch of your friends which will make you feel more at ease. One caveat: Avoid having your Giselle look-a-like pal tag along — you want to make sure his eyes stay glued to you.

If You Lose Your Nerve…
Really can’t bring yourself to invite a dude out? Then give him the green light to ask you. After flirting for a bit say something like, “Have you heard about this new movie? I’ve been dying to see it.” It will give him the perfect opportunity to suggest you see it together — and because you’ve hinted at what you want to do, it takes some of the planning pressure off him. Perfect!

Signs you should dump him by New year’s December 28, 2008

1. When you ask to speak to him about moving in, he schedules the talk for June.

2. Each time after sex, he grabs a private notebook from his bag and scribbles something in it, giggling.

3. His friends call him by the nickname of Cheaty McGee.

4. He loves to touch you and kiss you and will do so just as soon as he powers up and finishes killing these level-four zombies. Die, video zombies, die!

5. His ring tone is “Baby Got Back.”

6. The guy’s elaborate excuse for not spending the holidays together includes training for an Ironman competition.

7. Mr. Reality still entertains the idea that he could be a “stripper choreographer.”

8. He’s already written a scathing tell-all memoir of your relationship — and you’ve only been dating for two months.

9. He calls your mom “Mrs. Robinson” and stares at her way too intensely.

10. The big spender usually splurges and buys you awesome gifts, so it’d be a real shame to dump him before Christmas

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/relationships/10-Signs-You-Should-Dump-Him-by-New-Years

Dating experiences December 8, 2008

Why am I interested in the cheating subject?

Cheating is a subject dear to me, why? I’ve been cheated, I’ve been played, lied to, made fun of. You’ll probably say it happens to plenty of people. True! but not everyone deals with it the same way.

My second relationship (not really sure I could call it that, but anyway) lasted 2 weeks. I was on vacation, I was young. He was interested in me. It was flattering, so I went for it. It turned out that he had a girlfriend. Sadly when I came face to face with the girlfriend she said that he was badmouthing me. He told her that I was running after him, it was the other way around. He said that I wouldn’t stop calling him, lie! He made up all those lies about me. He wasn’t worth it. I got rid of the problem. Later on (years after) It was my turn to control the situation. We hooked up, but on my terms, and I dumped him as soon as I got tired. He never got over it. He always wanted more than what I planned to give. He now has a baby a girlfriend with 3 other kids that he is taking care of. I’m glad I got out when I did. It could’ve been me with his baby.

Then I got with my boyfriend. No one ever hurt me the way he has, but we’re still together. Sometimes I wonder how did we make it so far. I wonder will we last forever. We’ve been through so much. We’re still going through stuff.

Our story. We went to school together, started a relationship. I ended it after 6 months. My excuse: I did not know what I was doing at that time, plus I couldn’t handle hiding from my dad anymore. I was too young. So we parted, and became the best of friends. He made it impossible for me to forget about him even if I wanted to. Then, school ended, he went away, I was left alone. It did not bother me much. I would hear from him once in a blue moon, that was it. 3 years, we met again. He had his girlfriend, I was doing my own thing. He still had feelings for me. I started seeing him differently. I was attracted in a more mature way. We started talking seeing each other. When I felt like things were about to get serious, I asked about the girlfriend. He told me they had broken up (there was a whole story about it). No girlfriend, I could do whatever. We ended up in a real relationship.

Almost a year into the relationship, the ex subject came up. I’m very curious, I love to ask questions. I came to find out that the whole time we were talking, he was still with the ex. It pissed me off, he had lied to me. He swore he told me so, I just didn’t care. He never did, I’m not the type to do anything with anyone knowing they are in a relationship.

I was in too deep, I decided to move on, and let it go. After a year and half, I found out he’s been cheating for 2 months. “What goes around comes around” right?  The difference is that I did not know that he was cheating with me. I called it quit. I felt deceived, ridiculed. I tried very hard throughout the whole relationship, seemed that I was the only one to care.

Once I left him, he realized he had something good. He was basically on his knees, begging me to come back to him for a whole year. “That year was the best of my life” Everything I wanted I got, I did not have to ask for anything. I did not see it that way at that time. I did not care. I did everything in my power to push him away. He knew I was hanging out with other guys. I made it clear I didn’t want him back. I didn’t want anything from him, but for some reason I could not get rid of him completely. 

When a whole set of drama happened and he decided to move on, I started missing him. Missing having him around, laughing together and just doing fun stuff together. Last thing that happened was me seeing his picture online with someone else. It hurt me in my bones. My thoughts were:”there is no way I will have that b****( I know her) have what’s mine. I did what I did to get him back.

It’s been almost a year now. I wonder if I did the right thing by going after him. After everything that happened, I feel scarred for life. I have big trust issues. I don’t know if I’ll ever get rid of them, if so, how long it would be.

Al I know is I love him, he says he loves me too. We’re talking marriage, we’re making plans for the future together. The only things stopping me from being completely happy and carefree, are my trust issues, and the fear that it could happen again.

Did I make the right choice by getting back with him. If so, how do I get rid of my trust issues?

A great article about preventing your guy from cheating November 30, 2008

This is an article that I found, it’s called: How to keep him from cheating.

It gives you a few tips on how to prevent your man from cheating. Well I say, if he wants to cheat, he will do it anyway. I don’t think anything can really stop him, no matter what you do. You never know though, I could be wrong.

Here is the article

Hang with his coworkers.
Join him at happy hour or actually take him up on that invite to his office holiday party. “Making friends with his colleagues turns you into a ‘real’ person to them,” says William July, PhD, author of Confessions of an Ex Bachelor. ”The other women he works with will be more likely to hang back if they can put a face to a name.” Plus, your guy will feel extra bonded as a couple if he is able to share another part of his life with you.

Ask him questions. 
If your guy feels like he can’t talk to you about the stuff going on at work, he’ll likely turn to someone else who understands (like his cute cubemate). And although it starts innocently, that kind of emotional intimacy can lead to trouble. Make a point to ask him how a difficult project is going or if anything funny happened that day. “That way, he’ll be opening up to you instead of a female colleague he’s working closely with,” explains July. Besides, if you’re well-versed in what’s going on in his world, it’ll be harder for him to pull that whole “I’ve got a big deadline — must work late” excuse.

Stay on his mind.
It’s no secret that men are visual creatures. Take advantage of his dominate sense and give him a photo for his desk of you two. Just make sure the pic captures a moment when you both were having a blast together (like on a skiing trip or at a concert). “The photo will have more meaning and be a constant reminder of just how much fun he has with you,” says July. “Looking at it will boost his mood, and his loyalty.”

You could read more at my favorite website:

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/relationships/How-to-Keep-Him-From-Cheating

Why??? is my question to you guys. November 30, 2008

Why is it that, when a man can’t have a woman anymore, that’s when he gets too interested to the point of looking and sounding stupid? He works extra hard when it’s too late. He tries so hard that it stops being flattering, it becomes annoying. This amazes me to see how dumb and immature one can be.

Guys if you have a lady who is interested in you, don’t take it for granted. If you don’t want her, let her know from the get-go. Don’t give her hope. Don’t play with her feelings and emotions, because when she gets turned off, when she moves on, she’s gone for good. It doesn’t matter if you give her the earth, she won’t take it, she won’t come back(“Game or no game”). If she does, ask yourself why. It might be her turn to play you, or make you pay.

My advice to you:”Be careful what you do, watch how you treat her, know what you want before you regret it. It might come back to bite you in the ass“.